Why Man Creates, 1968

A friend recently mentioned to me a moment from a video he'd once seen..  The sequence he described sounded funny and so I decided to go on a search for it.  When I began looking for it I had no idea that it was the short film "Why Man Creates" that he was talking about.  I saw this film sometime in my childhood though I don't recall what the circumstances were.  I'm not sure what my reaction to the film was at the time but it is interesting to look at it through my eyes as they are today. 

The film doesn't actually answer the question of why human beings create but I don't think that was the intent of its creators.  Perhaps they only mean to leave the viewer asking him or herself the same question.  Why do people create?  Why do I create?  Why do you create?

How to be Alone

I have shared this video before but some things are worth watching again.  

Day 5 Almost Didn't Happen

I don't think I've stopped moving since I woke up this morning.  I've been so busy, work, meeting on a film project, work, study, make dinner, eat dinner, study, catch up on emails, follow up on phone calls, begin work on an upcoming fundraising event...wait what am I forgetting?

OH RIGHT! I have to write a blog post.  It's 9:15 and I've just now turned my thoughts to writing.

Anyone who thinks that single people spend their days either eating bonbons and pining away for unrequited/lost/nonexistent love or wiling away the hours at one social engagement after another without a care in the world except for where the next party is hasn't spent five minutes in my life or the lives of most of the unattached folks that I know.  I do have days that I decide I'm not going to do a darned thing but those days are rare and in fact, I usually need to plan them weeks in advance.  So much for footloose and fancy free...

Not that I'm complaining!  In fact there is very little that I do that I don't enjoy.  Things like litter box scooping, laundry, dishes, cleaning up hairballs, sorting socks and detangling my hair all make the list of acts that I find at least mildly unpleasant.  Oh, and sorting buttons which I have avoided doing for quite some time.  Generally though my life is full in that  I just ate a large slice of tourtière with a cup of homemade hot chocolate for desert sort of way...

...perhaps feeling a little stuffed but mostly nourished, warm, happy and maybe in need of a nap.

PS - in looking this over "moving" hasn't really been a part of the equation at all today.  In fact it has been full of a lot of sitting.  So I've one more thing to do before bed...DANCE!

Unconscious and Bleeding: Read 10:27 AM

I am addicted to adore my iPhone.  I wake up to the sound of its soft chime.  As I sip my morning coffee it delivers me a daily agenda and throughout my day it gently reminds me where I need to be in the next hour or the next five minutes.  It keeps me in touch with all of my friends as I run from work, to class, to home or to a gig.  I know immediately when I receive an email and if it is time sensitive I can find a quiet corner to type a response.  I have apps that help me make grocery lists, track my monthly cycle, identify songs, play games or share pictures of my cats with everyone I know.  

When I am in class or having dinner with a friend I switch the phone to airplane mode because if I hear it buzz or ring I will compulsively reach for it to find out if it is something I need to tend to.  I can't use do not disturb function because I know that with a tap of the button it will display all of the messages, emails, and phone calls that I've missed (it's just too tempting).  At the end of my day I read my blogroll or watch Netflix and Hulu shows while snugged down in my bed.  Before I fall asleep I tuck it away on special shelf next to my bed where I can reach for it first thing the next morning.

Each time there is an upgrade to the operating system I squeal with glee as I discover new features and tools.   Each time I have been very pleased with the result (okay maybe not with the maps)...until now. There is one feature on the iPhone that has caused me endless misery and anxiety.

I don't want to know when someone has read my text message.  Yes, tell me it has been successfully delivered but don't let me know that their eyes have been upon it because when I see that little notification, "Read 10:27 AM," below my sent message the clock starts to tick...

...five minutes...

...a half hour...

...an hour...

...two hours pass without response...

You didn't respond because you were about to get into the shower and Oh god!  You slipped on the soap and you are now unconscious and bleeding in the bath tub and your roommate is on vacation!

You didn't answer because you were driving but you were in a horrible car accident and you are now unconscious and bleeding in a ditch on a unmarked dirt road frequented only by prom night lovers and it's December!

You didn't answer because you'd just left for a peaceful walk in the woods (to that secret place you refuse to tell any one about) where a tree fell on you and you are now unconscious and bleeding while slowly being crushed to death beneath the weight of a giant tree!

See my brain doesn't give me simple explanations like: you forgot to charge your phone and it shut down before you could respond, or you were just sitting down and eating dinner and it slipped your mind, or you are writing that final paper and you're on a roll, or you are about to do your daily meditation, or maybe you just don't like me (okay forget that one, it can't possibly be that one). No my anxiety prone brain jumps from "hmmm...wonder why she didn't text back yet?" straight to unconscious and bleeding!!!!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!!

And even if there was a way to shut it off I'd always be turning it back on to see if the message had been read or not and then I'm right back where I started.

Now of course I realize that this means I probably need to do one of those technology detoxes that seem to be the rage lately. And the more rational part of my brain realizes that not once has any of these imagined scenarios actually occurred (knock on wood).  I should just take a deep breath and let it go, whomever I texted will get back to me when they are ready to do so and all will be well.

Or maybe on the next update Apple could just take this feature away?  Pretty please?

Spinster in the Kitchen: Sweet Potato Rice (Gogumabap)

This is what I made for dinner this evening.   I had sweet potatoes that I needed to use up and left over rice from making curry a few days ago; this recipe uses fresh rice. A neighbor of mine shared the dish with me years ago but I always forget how to make the sauce which is why I ended up looking it up online and came across this fabulous video.

The recipe is very simple: sweet potatoes, rice and very basic sauce.  It is easily made gluten free (use gluten free soy sauce) or vegan (use sugar instead of honey in the sauce).  It is also quite delicious and very inexpensive to make plus if you have leftovers it actually reheats beautifully. It makes only two to three servings making it quite manageable for one person to eat over a couple of days.  It is so tasty I don't mind eating it for lunch the next day.

Enjoy!

PS - Yes I know this isn't a full Spinster in the Kitchen post.  I'm pressed for time and have a final I need to study for but I still want to make sure my blog is updated (28 days to go).

Just Pick Something and Start the Work

"Nothing will work unless you do." - Maya Angelou

Friday was a lost day.  It was lost to me being wretchedly sick in bed all day unable to eat or drink from the early morning until 9:30 PM.  Yesterday I managed to get through a day of school and housekeeping by sipping water and eating bowls of brown rice until the evening when I went to have dinner at the home of a friend.   By midnight I was exhausted and when I arrived home shortly thereafter I fell into bed and blissful unconsciousness until the morning.

Today, after returning from a morning troupe rehearsal, I found myself two days behind on all kinds of work (school work, job work, creative work, personal work). Faced with the decision of which should take priority and be tackled first it was very tempting to toss my hands in the air and just say, "Too many choices! I'm going to hide away in my bedroom and watch Netflix and Hulu for the remainder of the afternoon."

...but since that really wasn't an option I took a mental look at the list of things I'd like to have done before I go to bed this evening:

• Attempt to make gluten free bread
• Sort my holiday decorations and put them up
• Do two days of dishes
• Write down my notes for my class introduction
• Pick up the living room and move the bookshelf 
• Write a blog post
• Take a nap
• Log into work for an hour to make up for Friday
• Study

As of this moment the loaf of bread is in the oven, the dishes are done and I'm hopefully about to finish and share this blog post.  I can't say that I put much thought into choosing which to do first.  In fact I think I mostly chose to make the bread first because the kitchen was cold and I wasn't going to plunge my hands into a sink full of dishes in a chilly kitchen.  It also worked out time the bread would take to rise and bake also gave me the break I needed to write this blog post in the now toasty warm kitchen.

When faced with all of the things I want to accomplish today I just picked one even if it wasn't perhaps the most important item on the list.  Happily my choice helped in the completion of two other items on the list.  I'm not sure that I will complete everything I'd like to do before bed (though I'm thinking the nap is quite likely to be the next item crossed off which brings the count to four) but at least I am making some sort of progress.

Plus my kitchen is toasty warm and smells fantastic!


PS - Bread is baked and out of the oven cooling on a rack.  It looks pretty but of course the real test will be the taste.

Work

"Do the work."
"I have to get this work done."
"This is going to take a lot of work."
"That didn't feel like work at all."

Work is a word that usually brings to mind having to do something that requires my focused attention in order to get it done.  Sometimes it is something I love to do, like dance practice, and sometimes it is something I don't really feel all that up for but which I know is necessary, like doing the dishes. and then there are those things that sort of fall in between, like blogging.

Whether the task is a pleasant one or not I think more specific definition of work might be an action that requires my intention and personal energy which moves me closer to the achievement of a goal.  Dance practice moves me forward in my goal of becoming a better performer and instructor; washing the dishes helps me to achieve the goal of a clean and orderly living space; and blogging helps me to maintain a diversity of creative outlets.  Work can sometimes feel like drudgery but it can also put us into a place of flow where our actions, intention and energy are so in sync that what we are doing no longer feels like work at all. 

Work is also the theme for this month's NaBloPoMo which I am once again going to attempt to complete. This will my fourth attempt (I think...it's possible this is attempt number five).  It is going to take a lot of work to successfully complete the challenge of writing a blog post everyday for a month.  

Let the work begin....