Day 4 - Individual Sustainability

A video about individual sustainability.  It is an interesting approach to a sustainable life. 

Day 3 - Energy Efficiency

I don't believe energy efficiency can be explained in 90 seconds as this video claims but, it does make the point that we can do a lot to reduce fossil fuel use through conservation.  Every light you turn off, every energy efficient appliance you use, ever inch of insulation you add to your home, every degree you turn down your thermostat results in lower energy use.  The less energy we use, the less fossil fuels we burn to produce power. 

While changing our power supply over to renewable sources is an admirable goal and one I hope to see achieved one day, energy conservation is something we can all do right now, today.  If every individual took steps to reduce their energy use it could have a great impact in reducing the environmental impact of energy production, and we'd all save a bit of money as well.  

Who is she (this impossible me)?

Other thoughts...

In my mind I have a vision of the person I want to be. In this vision she is always solitary...independent, though often standing in the midst of chaos - a busy office, back stage before a show, on a crowded sidewalk, she is calm and somehow apart from it all.  On her feet she wears stylish but sensible shoes.  She always looks well put together because she enjoys wearing things that make her feel beautiful.

She is strong, physically and mentally.  Taking care of herself is a part of daily life.  She is always well rested. While she has doubts about life they don't dominate her thinking. When she is in emotional turmoil she is able to set it aside so that she can take care of whatever immediate task life has put before her.  She is never overwhelmed because she knows her limits  She is passionate about many things.  She knows what she wants and she is not afraid of the hard work it may take to accomplish her desires.  

She is compassionate, offering a hand when others are in need.  She wants to save the world but knows she can only do the work of one person.  She attempts as best she can to live in a manner that lessens her impact on the earth.  

She wants to leave this earth having somehow made it a better place.

Lately I think of her and wonder, almost with a laugh, how I ever thought I could be this person? Yes, we are similar in many ways, passionate about what we do and about wanting to improve the world. I attempt to be compassionate but I stumble over jealousy, hurt and anger as most of us to.   I'm tired more days than I am not and I definitely fail frequently in the self care department.  I am overly emotional with some regularity and I struggle daily with self doubt.

I guess it's okay that I am not her.  It does seem like it would be a whole lot of work to be her and I'm not sure I'm really up to the task.  Maybe instead of seeing her as the me that I am not, I'll think of her as a sister or close friend because, even if she isn't me, when think of her I do feel a bit stronger and a little more capable.  It would be nice to know even if I am not her, that I at least have her on my side.

Note: I think there might have been a day, sometime in the spring of 2011, that I came as close to being her as I've ever been.  I should have noted the date but I was probably too busy being wonderful. 

30 Days of Earth Day: (Day 2) Know your recycling...

Many cities across the country have curbside recycling which makes it very easy to do something good for the environment. However each city and town's regulations are not the same.  For instance while nearly every program takes paper, glass and aluminium when it comes to plastics things can get tricky.

For instance, not all programs accept No. 2 plastic, some accept plastic grocery bags and others do not. Often a visit to your local public works website will help you determine what plastics your towns program accepts.  You may find that you what you thought was recyclable isn't or better yet find that your town has expanded your program and now accepts more than you expected.

Why is this important? If you place non-recyclable materials in your recycle bin these items will generally be removed during the facility's sorting process and still end up in a landfill or burned in an incinerator.  If you know that your town doesn't accept a certain kind of plastic you can make an effort to buy products that do not use that form of plastic which prevents it from ending up as just one more piece of trash.

If you want to learn more about plastics and how to identify the different types the EPA has an informative page which you can visit by clicking here.

30 Days of Earth Day: Day 1

April 22 is Earth Day.  It is the day intended to bring attention to protecting the environment and keeping our planet a livable place for all.  Of course while Earth Day serves an important educational function if we are to keep this planet clean, safe and a generally enjoyable place for all living thing well, though it might be on it's way to sounding cliche, every day needs to be Earth Day.

In the spirit of this I plan to share with you something I do each day in my efforts to lessen my environmental impact and help create a more sustainable world.  

I don't usually eat a lot of take out for two reasons: 1) I usually can't afford it and 2) it usually involves a lot of disposable packaging.

Today however, due to a busy morning, I found that I had reached about 1:30 PM without eating anything.  I was on my way to an afternoon appointment when I started to feel the effects of a drop in blood sugar so I stopped in at the grocery store and bought a small serving of soup from the food bar. It was a lovely day, about 50 degrees and sunny, so I sat on a bench to eat.

After I was done instead of tossing it into the nearest trash can, I put the cardboard soup container back in the paper bag and tucked it away in my purse to be added to the recycle bin at home.

While disposable containers are never my first choice a lot of places that serve takeout are switching to recyclable packaging.  This is great but it only works if we are willing to take the extra step to actually make sure it gets into the proper receptacle.

Searching for a younger me (sort of)

Today's post is in part inspired by this article from the New York Times about Gloria Steinem's 80th birthday.

As a younger woman I fully expected that I would age gracefully.  After all I was the thirteen year old given a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves for her birthday because she had asked for it.  Not only was I a teenage feminist politically but I embraced feminist spiritually and its triple goddess; maiden, mother and crone.  I had a mother who was willing to talk frankly with me about menstruation, answered my questions about sex and provided access to birth control.  I was surrounded by body positive images and knew many women much older than I who I considered beautiful and wise.

Despite all of this over the years I found myself, like nearly every other American woman, looking in the mirror and wondering if I was pretty enough or thin enough? Were my breasts the right size?  Was I too tall (I always felt too tall)?  Do I look my age?  Older?  Younger?  What is that silvery strand popping out of my head?  I started looking at the anti-wrinkle properties of face creams in the skin care aisle while at the same time watching from the corner of my eye to make sure no one I knew was in the grocery store and saw me reading the labels.

I remember a brunch with a younger friend a few years ago where the waiter brought our coffees, set mine in front of me with a "Here you go ma'am," and then proceeded to chat up and flirt with my younger friend.

"Ma'am?  Ma'am?"  Oh gods!  Does he think I'm old?????  I'm only 39…

Today at 42 I often ponder how this happened.  How did I, who 25 years ago was determined to be fiercely self accepting, come to care so much about my appearance and whether or not I looked youthful enough?

I could blame my later angsty teen years spent hunched over trying to hide what I felt was my towering height.  Then there was the extremely unhealthy, self-esteem damaging relationship of my early 20s.  Or there was the year I turned 27.  This was the year that I let my hair grow long, dyed it red and got contact lenses for the first time; that was the year I started to be noticed.  Suddenly, it seemed, I started receiving far more attention than I ever had before.  Not just flirtation, but people actually seemed to be more friendly.  They did things like open the door for me, and offered to carry packages (which I mostly refused).  The clerk at the corner store who never said more than, "Here's your change," suddenly wanted to engage me in conversation.

While the attention might have given me a bit of confidence that others may have picked up on, in my mind the only thing that changed was my appearance.   Here in the United States women are bombarded with images of how we are supposed to look, you can't escape it.  But nothing is quite so affirming of this "ideal" as when for, however long or brief a period of time, you come close to fitting it.  Whether consciously or not the connection was made…appearances matter and appearing attractive matters most of all.

Today, as I struggle with self acceptance, I want to apologize to my younger self, to say that I'm sorry to have let her down, but even more than that I want to find that part of her who didn't care about appearances or what anyone else may think of hers.  The part of her who believed that growing older was something to look forward to. And most of all I want to find that young woman who promised to love herself no matter what.   

My Not a Vacation

I spent the past two weeks housesitting.  I've been warm from my head to my toes and my belly has been full.  I've had full nights of restful sleep in a bed that is soft, cozy and hard to leave.  I've had space to be alone with my thoughts and to quiet my head.  For these past two weeks I've existed with a rare feeling of security and it has made world of difference in my state of mind.

This is the first time in quite a while that I have not only had a long span of time to be alone in my head but I've not driven my self crazy doing so (in fact I'm not sure I can recall the last time I was able to that).  I find myself sorting thoughts without obsessing over them.   I am writing more, mostly in my journal, making observational notes about  my state of mind, what thoughts are dancing in my head and  at the very beginning of realizing it's okay to let go of some things.

It hasn't all been quiet contemplation.  I've still worked nearly every day and I've still had school and the associated homework including two midterms.  I had several shows with my troupe and one solo performance.  I've still had to keep up with bookings, my dance practice, writing and general life stuff.  I've spent social time with friends.  This has not been a vacation in the traditional sense though.

What it has been is an escape into a world where all of my basic needs have been adequately met.  I can't help but think that if every human being could be assured of having these things every day the world would in general be a much happier place.

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Just to be clear, when I am not housesitting I am not starving or living on the streets, however given my current financial circumstances I, like many of us, live paycheck to paycheck with little left for any sort of extras.  The thermostat is kept at the minimum (multiple layers are a way of life), food is very, very basic (and I'm not sure the calories are always adequate), my lungs are often in flare-up (which has not been an issue at all here) and I worry nearly constantly about money (how will I make rent, pay for oil, food and other utilities)   Because of all these things I often don't sleep well which probably contributes greatly to an anxiety prone, non-peaceful state of mind.  

I know I am not the only person who lives this way these days and certainly not the only one amongst my friends.  It is not a frequent topic of discussion as I don't think we want to dwell on our troubles, but it has been mentioned.  Times are tight for so many; when I look at my own circumstances and the impact it has on my state of mind, then expand that to our community at large which includes so many who have even less, is it any wonder that there appears to be so much struggle in the world these days. Such a minor change in circumstance has made such a difference for me and I'm sure would do so for so many others. 

I am grateful for that which I do have but having even a short time where a few of  these basic necessities (warmth, food and breathing clearly) have not been a worry has been rather blissful.  I've only a few days left before someone else takes over for the last couple weeks of the owners vacation…and the truth is I don't want to leave here yet.