This morning I came across this article on the Psychology Today website. It is about how we, as children, develop patterns and habits of behavior that will shape who we are and how we relate to the world for decades to come.
It also discusses why, even when those patterns and habits are self destructive, we have such a difficult time letting go of them. It explains that one of the most terrifying things you can do is to choose to change, even when it means starting over from scratch.
Even if it means not even being all that sure who you are when you strip all of those patterns and habits away.
It is frightening. But it is, I think, worth it if it means truly knowing one's self.
I am in that process, the one of letting go of those patterns and habits that, until now, defined who I was. It is frightening and sometimes leaves me paralyzed with indecisiveness as I have to navigate new ways of decision making. But as I let go of each little bit of who I thought I was, I find another tiny piece of who I am.