And, yes, I do take comfort from my own sense of insignificance and the bit role I play in the functioning of all that is. However, whatever comfort I may derive from this does not make it any easier when shitty things happen.
Just over a week ago my creative partner and my dearest friend was struck by a vehicle while he was out running. It was one of those completely random, inexplicable events that leave even the least philosophical among us asking why and the least religious of us praying for the life of our dear friend.
He suffered life threatening injuries, underwent many surgeries and spent more than a week in SCU. While he is now on the road to recovery he has a long and difficult path ahead of him. He is a well loved man and will thank fully have plenty of support as he moves forward. The amount of folks stepping up to help is a testament to the kind, gentle and loving man that he is. The hundreds of simple kindnesses that Steve sent rippling out across our community are rippling back to him now in his time of need.
As one would expect these events have brought up many thoughts and feelings for me; most of which I've not even begun to process. It has not changed my view of the universe. I still believe it is far too complex of a place for us to understand more than small parts of it, and I still don't believe that Life/God/The Universe cares much about any of us. It has however restored a bit of my faith in community and friendship and the impact one can have by simply living as a decent human being.
So, yes. this experience has changed me, as I'm sure it has many of us who know Steve. I'm still a grouch, I doubt that will change much (ever), but perhaps after this I'll be a kinder one and maybe I'll have a little more patience with the non-grouches of the world.
And if I haven't told you recently that I love you, know that I do.
**We have set up a GoFundMe campaign to help Steve with his medical bills and lost wages. Please help out if you can!**