Sunday, October 9, 2011


Last night I had a dream that I packed up myself and the kitties and ran off to a silent retreat in the middle of some distant mountains.  I told no one where I was going.   It was a very peaceful dream, but it did end with someone who was worried seeking me out and finally finding me in my mountain hide away.  I actually tried to hide behind a tree when they showed up, but they found me anyway. 

The most appealing thing about the dream was not being alone, and actually I wasn’t really alone anyway as the retreat had several other guests as well as the people who ran the place, and it wasn’t the break from having to do anything, besides all guests had to help out with preparing meals and keeping things clean.  The most appealing part of the dream was the silence.   It was the not speaking that I enjoyed.

The silence in the dream could have been a literal wish to not speak, but I think it went beyond not having verbal interaction.  Most everything I do whether it’s work, school or art, involves communicating in some way.  Many are verbal, like phone calls and direct conversation, but there is also this blog, emails, text messages and online social media.  I also communicate through my performances, with music and dance.   It is constant and aside from sleeping I can’t think of the last time even an hour passed in my day without some kind of exchange taking place.  

All of which is my own doing of course and I’ve no doubt my subconscious is telling me I need to take some sort of time off.  Right now, as appealing as the idea is, I couldn’t pack up my life and head for the mountains (and I promise, I would tell someone where I was going) and in looking at my calendar I’m not sure I could even find a whole day I could set aside to unplug from the world.   

So I’m going to make an effort to introduce a little bit of silence into my life every day.  Turning off the phone and computer for a set period of time.  A half hour?  An hour?   Much more than that and I’d likely begin to suffer withdrawal;  I’d be found in a dark corner of my apartment clutching my laptop and iPhone to my chest, muttering that I won’t let anyone take a ways my preciouses ever again.

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

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