Friday, November 25, 2016

Day 25: Wounded

"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded." - W. Somerset Maugham

Lessons. Those times when an event in life causes us pain; when we suffer loss or rejection.  When we first learn that the only way to get out of it is to move through it.

The first time it might not even cross our minds that there is and end to it.  That sadness, grief, pain all of it, will eventually fade.  That may be the first lesson we learn - that we can survive.  It may take a time or two more to recognize it fully.

And we survive in whatever way we can.  Not all of us develop great coping mechanisms.  Some of us numb our pain, distract ourselves from it using drugs, alcohol, sex or even isolation.  Keeping busy, busy all the time so that we never have quiet moments where our thoughts might wander.

And some allow the process to happen, move through the pain and have faith that we will come out the other side.

I want to believe that I am in that healthier place.  This year I made a commitment to facing my own shadows, allowing my personal demons to speak their piece in the hope that I would come to a deeper understanding of myself.  And while I definitely underestimated how difficult and time consuming it would be, I think I have made progress.  I have faced events that at one time would have brought me to my knees.

Instead I am still standing, bruised and wounded, struggling, grieving, but able to keep moving forward.

1 comment:

  1. Well said; I love this! "Truthless ideals" - often, yes, but still worth striving for/holding? Maybe tempering but not losing faith or hope... I admire that you consciously faced some shadow stuff this year and have made progress. You sound like you gained fortitude and wisdom.