Thursday, August 4, 2016

Leaving...

My bags are once again packed.  At some point early this afternoon my ride will arrive, we will load the bags into the trunk and point the car to points south.  After about an hour of driving I will back that apartment I currently call home and I'll return to my regularly scheduled life.

My regularly scheduled life.

Here is the thing about vacations.  The rare times I've taken them they generally serve to remind me just exactly what I am lacking in my everyday life.  It isn't so much that my everyday life is bad, it isn't.  It is however missing some things; namely silence, solitude and time in nature.

My life is not silent.  I live with four other people and a tiny dog who likes to warn us of every possibility of doom (the UPS man, garbage truck and men on bicycles are all, apparently, harbingers of the apocalypse).  Even if they all stopped speaking, wore earphones while watching television and shuffled about in slippers 24/7 there is no way that our apartment will be peacefully quiet.  Add to that traffic noises, the neighbors weekly screaming matches and the general sounds of urban life and, well...you get the opposite of silence.  

You also get the opposite of solitude.  This is something I've tried to achieve at home by simply keeping my door shut, but this generally leaves me feeling more shut in and slightly claustrophobic, rather than peaceably alone.  I also have my kitty who needs access to her food an litter box, which are both kept in my room.

I suppose I can have a bit more of the above if I take care of the third.  I have opportunity to spend time in the woods and along the river near where I live.  This spring I'd developed a habit of walking each morning, exploring the river and woods.  When I went early enough I rarely saw any people and often had time to sit quietly by the water or under a tree.  Once summer hit my habit was lost and I've done little to reestablish it - something I plan to change when I arrive home.

There are other things I've learned and discovered during this week away.  Some I'll likely share here, others are more private, personal...things I need to keep exploring.  Mostly I've come to realize that there are certain things I need in my life in order to be content.



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