Friday, July 15, 2016

Day 15: Share your pain - a social media challenge

Today's post is a request.  That's right, I'm asking something of you.  You don't get to just sit back an read today because I'm a bit peeved about something.

If you are having a bad day. Share it.
If the world does not seem to be going your way. Share it.
If you are dealing with a depressive episode. Share it.
If you are suffering grief from loss.  Share it.
If you had an anxiety attack this morning.  Share it.
If you have a brain crushing creative block.  Share it.

That's right, I want you to take all the crap we try to hide from the world and put it out there.  I want you to show that your world isn't all perfect Instagram dinners, happy dance fests, perfectly frosted cakes and picturesque sunsets.

Why?  Because it isn't.  Because no one's life is full of bliss 100% of the time.  We all have shitty days, shitty weeks, shitty months and sometime shitty years.  I know this because I know that our personal human experience is not unique.  I suffer shit days and so do you.

This morning when I sat down with my perfectly brewed cup of coffee, with my perfectly adorable and perfectly fluffy cat at my side while still wearing my perfectly cozy pajamas, I saw several posts on my Facebook feed about people having shitty days; a couple were dealing with a fairly serious mental health issue. All expressed feelings of being alone, and several commented how hesitant they were to share this because everyone else seems to have perfect lives.

Sharing your crap day isn't putting negativity out into the universe.  It isn't whining or complaining. It isn't self centered.  It's real.

So tell the world. Put it out there. Share not only your perfect results, share the messy as hell process too.  Share the fallen cakes, the three rows of knitting you had to tear out.  Share how you came across an old concert ticket and cried because the person who attended is no longer with us.  Share your break up, your sad days, your stubbed toes and your feelings of inadequacy. Share your depression, your anxiety and your run of the mill melancholy. Put it right the fuck out there.

You'll probably get some reassurance.  Some comments that will bolster your mood, help shore you up to try again, but you might also help someone.  Your post might pop up in the feed of someone else who's day is less than perfect and it might make that person feel a little less isolated, a little less solitary.   It might show them that someone else made it through a rough moment, a tough day or a soul crushing year of loss.

Continue to share your up moments and your successes too; you should be proud of your accomplishments.  Just remember to share all of the bumps along the way.   By sharing your struggle you are not showing that you are in any way flawed. you are showing that you are human.


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  2. I recent years, I have made a concerted effort to share (F2F with a specific person, or by posting about in more generally) experience that have made me feel shamed or shameful. One of the reasons is that my "shame attacks" tend to be worse and last longer when I suffer in silence. It's like the shame feeds on silence. So, when my old colleagues from King Middle School threw away the school's copies of the award plaques that I had won when I worked there, I felt both broken-hearted and ashamed, so I posted about it. It helped to get it out of my head.