Wednesday, August 26, 2015
"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." - Joseph Roux
Friends have always been important to me. They are a priority in my life, coming before pretty much anything else I might have going on. I think most people believe that this is the case in their lives too. That their friends are of paramount importance but....
...how many times has your phone rung or buzzed, you looked down at who it was, saw the name and refused the call or let it ring through to voicemail?
...how long did it take you to call back? Or did you simply text a few days later apologizing for not returning the call but let's have coffee sometime?
...how many times has a friend reached out to say let's have dinner/drinks/go for a walk and you replied that you were too busy, too tired, too something?
...how many times have you not RSVP'd to a party invitation because you wanted to keep your options open?
...how many times were the dinner plans you finally made rescheduled because you or they simply didn't feel up for it?
I know there are lots of you shaking your head's right now saying, "Oh you don't understand I'm just so busy. I've a family to raise, a partner to tend to, a career that needs advancing and I'm just so damn busy with all of it...you simply don't get it."
Actually I do. I may not be busy with the same sorts of things as you or you or you, but my life is chock-a-block full. Packed to the brim with things I need to get done but when it comes to my friends I make the time. Even if I am too busy for dinner or a walk, I reach out with call or text to just say, "Hey, thinking of you. Hope you are well." And if one of them is in need - if things really hit the fan and they need help or an ear - I will make the time.
Our friends are our friends because they want to be. Not because they were born to be your friend or because they took a vow to be your friend. They are under zero obligation to spend time with you or to even like you but they choose to do so. Don't take their presence in your life for granted; make the fucking time because you know what the next question will be?
When tragedy strikes how many of you will be left thinking about how you wished you'd reached out more, that you wish you'd expressed your affection for them more often or that you regret all those times you declined the call, didn't answer the text or bailed on the dinner plans?