Tonight is the longest of the year. With the new moon it is not only the longest night but it is also the darkest. One needn't dig too deeply to find the symbolism there.
Most years I try to stay up through the longest night. This year I am not sure that I will have it in me to do that, but I do plan to stay up for as long as I can. At some point I will take a moment to turn off all of the lights, turn off the computer, the phone and anything else electronic and just sit in silence trying to connect to that time long ago when the coming of night also meant the work was done.
My winter solstice posts are more often than not about the symbolism of making it through the dark nights of our lives; those hard times when we fear the light at the end of the tunnel will never show. Tonight though I am thinking more of the quiet, the peace that can be found in darkness. When we take the time to be still, to sit with whatever we are feeling. When we take the time to just breathe.
I am also thinking about the darkness of uncertainty. Those dark hours of waiting for the illumination of our minds and hearts that allows us to see the way clearly. As the wheel turns this year I find myself facing an uncertain future in many parts of my life. I have wonderful opportunities ahead that I am working towards, some of which require sacrifices that I'm still unsure about making. My creative life is taking a dramatic new direction which I am both excited and nervous about. My relationships are in flux, old friends have left and older friends have returned. I still have an uneasy relationship with my heart; I'm sometimes mistrustful of what it tells me.
Whether or not I stay awake through the dark hours I will rise early and walk to the water to await the returning sun. The weather currently says it will be partly cloudy, but even if I do not see the sun, I will know it is there. The light will still come and the day will brighten. Whether or not it will bring me the illumination I seek remains to be seen.
A warm and happy solstice to all. May we all find our way to the dawn.