Saturday, March 16, 2013

Keeping the Towel

Blog prompt courtesy of "The Creativity Portal"

"There was a time when you almost threw in the towel. Write about that experience."

I question nearly everything I do with a fair amount of regularity.  Is it worth the time?  It is worth the work and effort?  What am I getting out of this?  What am I giving to the world?  How can I continue to inspire and motivate myself and others?  And I've come close to giving up a lot of things school, writing, various jobs (okay, some of those didn't make it) but the closest I have ever come to truly "throwing in the towel" is when I very nearly quit dancing.

I've written about it here before how for about a year I felt very disconnected from any source of inspiration when it came to dance.  When I took to the stage I felt like a puppet mimicking my own movements.  To this day I can't pinpoint what the cause was.  It didn't occur in an instant but was more of a slow seeping that managed to take me by surprise when it finally made itself obvious.  Every time I set foot on the stage I kept hoping I'd find that connection again and each time I walked away feeling like I'd failed.

I kept on dancing though, which is why I think I managed to make it through.  In fact I think I worked harder during that period than I ever had before.  I practiced as much as I could and I pushed my creative boundaries.  I didn't stop working or creating until finally, one day I found myself stepping before an audience and that light, that spark...the fire that I always felt filled me when I danced was back.  I felt once again connected to my inspiration and my movements.

The experience for me stressed the great importance of practice and today I find that I will make the time to do the work even when I may not feel like it  becauseI feel a little tired or I'm in the midst of emotional turmoil or it's been a tough day.   I may not know why inspiration left me, but I firmly believe that it was practice that kept the door open for it's return.

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