Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 The Look Back

2012 will come to its close in just over 24 hours.  People will gather together to say goodbye to the old year and to welcome in the new.  On Tuesday when we toss out the old calendar and hang 2013 up on the wall we will be literally and symbolically ridding ourselves of the past year.  New Year's Eve is one of my favorite holidays.  I love that it is a holiday without ties to religion yet full of celebration and I love the renewal that it represents.  I find it beneficial to pause to take stock of where I am and where I hope to go and the new year is as good a time as any.

If I had to sum up this year in one word it would be busy.  I feel like I accomplished more in the past year than I did in the past two.  The first half of the year I worked two jobs while keeping up a full performance schedule and attending school.  The summer I found myself cutting back to one job and a great increase in the amount of out of town shows my troupe did.  The fall was a return to school, a move and more shows than I've had before a that time of year.

This was also the year that I reconnected with my creative voice.  Much of what I had done the prior year felt like it was missing something and by the time 2012 began my performances felt hollow and empty.  I came very close to deciding to cease dancing altogether but thanks to steady encouragement from a couple of close friends, a lot of soul searching and a deliberate return to my belly dance roots I managed to find my way.  This process greatly impacted my decision to begin teaching because I came to the realization that our unique inner creative voice is one that we are all capable of discovering and that the process of finding and connecting to it was something I could, and wanted to, share.

It was also the year that I finally learned the lesson of saying no, because I began to recognize just what my own limitations are.  I knew I'd rather do a few things well than to merely dabble in many things.  This realization brought an immense amount of relief and a great reduction in the pressure I often put on myself to succeed exceptionally at everything.

2012 had a great loss in October, saying goodbye to my sweet kitty Orange.  Seventeen years of companionship came to a close as she passed in my arms early on the morning of the 31st.  I will miss my tiny, crazy peanut forever.  I also said goodbye to three years of solitary living and made the decision to once again have roommates; a decision that has worked out quite well for me.

Every year has its own ups and downs; 2012 was no different but over all it was a rather pleasant year.  It was  year full of adventure and love, so unlike some years past I am not chomping at the bit to say goodbye to it.  In fact I think if I could meet 2012 as a person I'd be more likely to shake its hand and give it a very heartfelt thank you.

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