tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post6823369187989473812..comments2023-04-22T12:36:18.256-04:00Comments on Spinster Jane: Part 3: Where am I going? (or "Breathe. Breathe. I'm not going to die.")Spinster Janehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07885521019895319562noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post-10014786138368436232014-01-21T09:34:09.983-05:002014-01-21T09:34:09.983-05:00Thank you for your comment and for sharing your ex...Thank you for your comment and for sharing your experience. I have received a bit of an overwhelming response to this series of posts, mostly through email, and I am glad that it appears to be helpful to so many. <br /><br />I don't see anxiety as an emotion in the same way as happy, sad, angry, etc. though it can certainly have a great impact on how we experience any of emotion. I believe it is a remnant of our flight or fight stress response which is something very different. Of course worry is good when you have to plan for an impending bear attack but it isn't such a useful thing when the stress is simply I have too much to do, it is instead paralyzing. <br /><br />In addition when our bodies have that response, and it is ready for that bear attack that then doesn't happen one can become stuck in a cycle of stress and anxiety which just builds and builds and builds as it has no release - I think this is, for me anyway, what causes an eventual panic attack. <br /><br />Mindfulness is good in that it helps me to see when the anxiety is about to flare up and I can then take steps to prevent it from escalating. I also think mindfulness is good for learning to sit with a painful emotion, to allow oneself to be in a place of sadness or grief with out self judgement and of course to also fully experience love and joy when those things occur in our lives. <br /><br />As for the choosing joy and happiness…well that is another discussion but personally I have a bit of a peeve with much of the self help publications out there that tell people "you are unhappy because you choose to be". I think for many that premise can cause a lot of pain and self blame when they are already struggling.<br /><br />In the end I think there are a plethora of healing paths to choose from and we all need to find the one that fits us best.<br /><br />J<br />Spinster Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07885521019895319562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post-55369057036978411672014-01-21T09:31:15.598-05:002014-01-21T09:31:15.598-05:00Thank you for reading and for sharing your experie...Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience. <br /><br />My anxiety rears it's head when I become overwhelmed (helloooo fall semester 2013), overtired or when a triggering event related to a past trauma occurs. The first two have a lot to do with maintaining an awareness of what my limits are and of course recognizing when I am about to cross the line of "too much" and also when I actually have and then stepping back to do the self care that is needed. The third is more about learning to feel safe and continuing to heal. <br /><br />It has been interesting to write about this and to see all of the experience that people have shared. I think anxiety is a very common problem and one our culture is not necessarily always well equipped to manage. <br /><br />JSpinster Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07885521019895319562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post-12918363291508854412014-01-21T09:19:43.995-05:002014-01-21T09:19:43.995-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Spinster Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07885521019895319562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post-86837993653893246022014-01-18T11:48:52.138-05:002014-01-18T11:48:52.138-05:00As a long time sufferer of anxiety, I've come ...As a long time sufferer of anxiety, I've come to the conclusion that a lot of it comes from our seeking to conform to the Dominant Paradigm, that is what our culture expects from us. For the first 60 or so years in this life, I let work, relationships, religion, and peers cast the mold into which I tried to fit myself. "If only I fit perfectly, I'll be calm and happy" says the voice inside.<br /><br />Thr trouble with that is that I'm not being who I authentically am when I try to fit the mold, And THAT, I think, is the real source of the anxiety.<br /><br />So I've begun giving it up. But 'tain't easy. Old habits and patterns are sometimes hard to break. But I try. And I succeed more and more as time passes.The Natural Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16233664530743952356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3797166485783616212.post-63493736503139899102014-01-16T17:50:02.568-05:002014-01-16T17:50:02.568-05:00"Being alive is like running an emotional mar..."Being alive is like running an emotional marathon where the training and practice begin at the same time that the starting gun is fired." Beautiful analogy. So true. I'm sorry you're suffering with anxiety, and that it's a chronic condition. As a culture, we tend to sympathize with those who have physical-body chronic conditions, but not so much with mental or emotional ones - perhaps because they're not as immediately visible. I think you're brave for writing about this, and today I had a friend (who I didn't even know read your blog) comment on how it has helped her. <br /><br />I would add that I've discovered in my own life that being happy or joyful is not a result of what I'm going through/not going through/faced with in my life. Rather, it's more of a practice, a choice that I make over and over again. Of course it's harder when you're suffering, a condition has flared up, crises happen. But in the big picture, along the marathon, happiness or joy is a mindfulness practice. It's something that is returned to again and again, not something that is achieved. That's my experience anyway.<br /><br />Many blessings to you.Nikki Starcat Shieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03901355620720381016noreply@blogger.com